I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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