Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
