I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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