M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
