capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
