Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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