I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Couch. On fire.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
