Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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