but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
