can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize