drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
