Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize