we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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