we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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