Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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