If that was your dad, he is hot
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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