We're facebook friends in real life
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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