There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
