there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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