That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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