fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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