Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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