Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
