if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
