all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
