sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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