This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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