Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
