if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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