So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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