Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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