Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
