Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
