i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
