Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
