I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
