Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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