So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
