wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
pop tarts are not kleenex
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
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