Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
