I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
