Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
