The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
