My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize