My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it's great music for shaving your balls
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
