the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
