Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
All the doctor said was why
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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