I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
why does every cop we meet know your name?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize