You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
