And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
