why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
