i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
