I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
