Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
don't judge my taste in strippers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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