Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
