fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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