did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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