News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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