TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
