I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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