what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
