I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize