where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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