You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
