doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
