wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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