Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize