he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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