i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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